Healing Old Wounds: how embracing my past empowered my present as a single mom
For years, I thought that healing meant forgetting, that moving forward meant burying my past as if it were something to be ashamed of. But life has taught me otherwise. Healing isn’t about erasing what happened; it’s about embracing it, making peace with it, and realizing that every piece of my story, and every stumble has shaped who I am today.
The Burden of Carrying Wounds
We all carry wounds, some more visible than others. They’re from past relationships, childhood memories, mistakes we made, and things we wish had gone differently. For a long time, I thought that if I didn’t acknowledge these wounds, they wouldn’t affect me. But here’s the thing—unhealed wounds don’t just disappear; they linger, quietly impacting the way we see ourselves, how we treat others, and even how we show up for our own lives.
As a single mother, I quickly realized how important it was for me to address my own unresolved pain. I wanted to show up fully for my kids, to love them in a way that felt whole and healthy. But the truth is, I couldn’t do that while parts of me were still holding onto hurt, resentment, and guilt from things I’d never made peace with.
Recognizing That Healing Isn’t Linear
The journey of healing isn’t straightforward. Some days I feel light and free, and on others, old memories creep in, reminding me of things I’d rather forget. I’ve come to understand that healing doesn’t mean I won’t ever feel the sting of old wounds; it means I’ve learned how to coexist with them without letting them control me.
There are days when I revisit painful moments—mistakes I’ve made, relationships that didn’t work out, or times I was too hard on myself. And instead of running from these memories, I try to welcome them, to sit with them for a moment, acknowledge the lesson they carry, and let them pass without judgment. Healing doesn’t mean we won’t have bad days; it means we’ve learned how to navigate them without falling apart.
Choosing to Embrace My Past
Part of my healing has been about changing my relationship with my past. Instead of seeing it as something to hide, I’ve started viewing it as a part of my story—a collection of moments that led me here. And while there are parts of my past I’d rather not relive, they’re also the parts that taught me the most about resilience, strength, and forgiveness.
Embracing my past means accepting that it wasn’t perfect, that I wasn’t perfect, but that’s okay. I’m learning that my past doesn’t define my worth. Instead, it’s a part of my journey, a testament to how far I’ve come and the strength I’ve built along the way.
Finding Freedom in Forgiveness
Healing old wounds also means learning to forgive—not just others but myself too. There’s a certain freedom in letting go of old resentments, in realizing that holding onto anger or regret only weighs us down. Forgiving myself for my mistakes, my shortcomings, and even my moments of self-doubt has been one of the hardest but most rewarding parts of this journey.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning what happened or forgetting the pain. It simply means choosing to release the weight of it. It means I no longer allow my past to take up space in my present.
Embracing Healing as a Lifelong Journey
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that healing isn’t something you check off a list; it’s a lifelong process. There will always be moments that challenge me, memories that surface unexpectedly, and days when the weight of old wounds feels heavy. But I know now that I have the tools to navigate those moments, to lean into self-compassion, and to keep moving forward.
Healing is about allowing myself to be a work in progress, to know that I can honor my past without being shackled to it. It’s about recognizing that my story, with all its ups and downs, is mine—and that’s what makes it powerful.
Honoring My Journey
Today, I stand here a little stronger, a little more compassionate, and a lot more accepting of who I am and where I’ve been. I don’t need to rewrite my story to make it seem perfect. My journey is real, and it’s mine. And for the first time, I can honestly say that I’m proud of every part of it, even the parts that once felt too painful to revisit.
To anyone else holding onto old wounds, I want to remind you: healing is messy and imperfect, but it’s also freeing. Embrace your past, learn from it, and keep moving forward. The power lies in recognizing that every piece of your story has value. You are not defined by your wounds; you are defined by the strength it took to heal from them.
