Why I’m Choosing to Stay Single as a Solo Mom
I won’t pretend like I never wanted companionship. There was a time where I felt the urge to be in a relationship and tested the waters like most people do. That desire to be chosen, loved, seen. But the more I sat with myself, the more I realized… it wasn’t love I was craving. It was connection. It was safety. It was a feeling of being understood. And I had to be honest: a relationship wouldn’t give me that if I hadn’t given it to myself first.
Inner Work > External Validation
This season of my life isn’t about finding someone. It’s about becoming someone. Someone my children can look up to. Someone I can be proud of. Someone who doesn’t need a partner to feel valuable, but knows that if love comes- it’s going to complement, not complete.
I’m doing the inner work. The quiet, unglamorous, soul-level healing. The kind of work that forces you to take accountability, forgive yourself, rewire your patterns, and break generational habits. That’s where I’m pouring my energy. Into my growth. Into my children. Into my wholeness.
My Children’s Safety Comes First
As a mother, my first instinct is protection. And in this world, that means being extremely mindful of who I allow into my space- and especially my children’s.
Too many women bring men around their kids without truly knowing who these men are beneath the surface. And let’s be real- anyone can wear a mask for a few months or even a few years. But my kids? They’re not experiments. They’re not collateral in my search for companionship.
I’m not going to test out relationships by bringing random men around them just to see how it goes. I’m not experimenting with my children’s emotional safety just because I feel lonely or curious about a connection.
I’m not willing to risk their well-being, peace, or innocence for the sake of having someone in my life. I’m not sacrificing their comfort so I can have companionship.
Their peace, their innocence, and their safety are my top priorities. If that means staying single longer to protect that, so be it. That’s a trade I’ll make every single time.
I Don’t Trust Easily- And I’m Not Ashamed of That
Let’s just call it what it is: these dating streets are not for the weak.
More times than not, you’re either going to run into a man who wants to be treated like a princess (no shade, but no thanks), or worse- a narcissist dressed up in charm, a man with mommy issues, or a man who has done no inner work. And I’ve done too much healing to entertain anything that pulls me backwards.
Truth is, I don’t trust easily. Especially when it comes to men. And I’m okay with that. My intuition is sharp now. My boundaries are non-negotiable. My peace is protected at all costs.
I’m Not a Broken Woman Waiting to Be Chosen
There are a lot of beautiful women out here desperately trying to fill a void with a relationship. I get it. The desire for connection is real. But that’s just not my story.
I’m not falling for potential. I’m not falling for someone’s image- their looks, their charm, their curated persona.
I don’t need a man to give me purpose. I don’t need a relationship to feel like I matter. I’m not building a life that revolves around waiting for someone to choose me. I’ve already chosen myself. And I feel whole because I’m standing in my truth.
When It’s Right, It Won’t Feel Forced
I believe that when the time is right, and I’ve done my part, God will align me with the most beautiful connection- effortless, intentional, and real.
But I’m not forcing anything.
I’m not begging to be seen.
I’m not convincing anyone of my worth.
I don’t need a relationship to validate me.
I don’t need a ring to feel chosen.
I don’t need a man to make me feel like a woman.
I am already her.
The nurturer. The protector. The provider. The soft place and the firm foundation.
I trust the process. I trust the timing. And I trust myself enough to wait for what’s truly meant for me.
Final Thoughts:
I’m not single because I’m unworthy of love. I’m single because I love myself enough to wait for the real thing. I’m not avoiding relationships out of fear- but out of deep self-respect. And as a single mother, my energy is sacred.
So until someone comes into my life who honors that… I’ll be over here- healing, growing, thriving, and raising my babies with love.
Because this version of me?
She doesn’t settle.
She knows her worth.
And she’s not afraid to stand alone- until it’s real.
