Building a Better Relationship With Yourself While Raising Kids
Let me ask you something: when was the last time you genuinely checked in with yourself? Not about the laundry, the school pick-up schedule, or what’s for dinner—you. If you’re like most parents, the answer is probably, “I can’t even remember.”
Parenting doesn’t come with built-in timeouts for self-reflection, and it’s easy to lose sight of who you are in the constant swirl of responsibilities. But here’s a thought: what if your relationship with yourself is just as important as the one you have with your kids? What if nurturing that connection could make you a stronger, more fulfilled parent?
It’s not about finding hours you don’t have; it’s about showing up for yourself in small, meaningful ways. Let me show you how.
Stop Performing for Approval
So much of parenting can feel like a performance. Are you doing enough? Are you doing it the “right” way? Let go of the need to prove yourself to anyone—your friends, family, society, or even your inner critic. The relationship you have with yourself thrives when you stop seeking validation from the outside world and trust that your way is enough.
Recognize When You’re Disconnected
Sometimes we stay busy on purpose because slowing down means facing what’s really going on inside. If you’re always rushing, scrolling, or avoiding time alone, ask yourself: What am I running from? Building a relationship with yourself means sitting with the discomfort, identifying the voids, and starting to fill them with your own love and care—not distractions.
Parent Yourself First
You wouldn’t ignore your child if they were hurting, so why do you do it to yourself? Pay attention to your inner voice. Are you harsh, dismissive, or neglectful when it comes to your own feelings? Start treating yourself like your own child. Be gentle when you make mistakes, encouraging when you’re struggling, and forgiving when you fall short.
Reclaim Your Voice
How many times have you silenced yourself to keep the peace or make things easier for everyone else? Your kids will benefit more from seeing a parent who speaks their truth. Building a better relationship with yourself starts with honoring your voice, even when it feels scary or uncomfortable.
Challenge the Stories You Tell About Yourself
We all carry old stories—ones that tell us we’re not good enough, that we’re failing, or that we’re too much or not enough. Ask yourself: Where did these beliefs come from, and why am I still holding onto them? You can rewrite those stories. You can choose to see yourself as resilient, capable, and worthy, no matter what anyone else has told you.
Let Yourself Be Seen, Flaws and All
Stop hiding the messy parts of yourself out of fear that you’ll be judged—by others or by yourself. Building a relationship with yourself means embracing the whole picture, not just the highlight reel. The parts of you that feel broken or unworthy are just as deserving of love and attention as the parts you’re proud of.
Revisit Your Dreams Without Guilt
When you became a parent, you didn’t stop being a person with dreams. But it’s easy to bury them under the weight of daily life. Take time to reconnect with those dreams—not out of pressure to achieve them immediately, but to remind yourself that they still matter. Reclaiming your dreams is an act of self-respect and a reminder that your life is your own, too.
Final Thoughts
Building a better relationship with yourself isn’t about fixing what’s broken. It’s about meeting yourself where you are, showing compassion, and being brave enough to confront the parts of you that need attention. When you do, you’re not just creating a better life for yourself—you’re setting an example of self-love and resilience for your kids, too.
