Rediscovering Myself After Motherhood: A Journey Beyond the Mom Life
Motherhood is one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t lose a part of myself along the way. I love my kids more than anything in the universe, but somewhere between the diaper changes, snack requests, and making sure everyone else was okay, I realized I’d forgotten about someone important—me.
It wasn’t just me anymore; I was Mom—a title I’ll wear proudly forever. But over time, I found myself wondering, “What happened to the rest of me?” Who was I beyond being their mother?
If you’re a mom and you’ve felt like this, you’re not alone. Rediscovering yourself after becoming a mother is no walk in the park, but it’s essential—not just for you, but for your children too. I’m still on my journey, learning as I go, and I wanted to share what’s helped me reconnect with myself.
Losing Myself in the Role of “Mom”
When I first became a mother, my entire world revolved around nurturing my kids. It felt natural, yet I hadn’t realized how much I was losing touch with other parts of myself. The parts that longed for creativity, meaningful connections beyond playdates, and moments where I wasn’t always “on.”
Somewhere in the mix, I stopped prioritizing myself. I began to question if I was even allowed to have dreams outside of my children. Could I be a good mother and still want something for myself?
The Moment I Realized I Was Running on Empty
Then, I hit a point where I felt completely drained—not just from other people but from myself. I’d put my passions, interests, and needs on the back burner for so long, I wasn’t sure where to begin in rediscovering them.
One day, I was scrolling through social media and saw a post that said, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” It hit me hard. I had been running on empty, convincing myself that sacrificing my needs was the mark of a good mom. But the truth is, neglecting myself wasn’t helping anyone—not my kids, not my relationships, and definitely not me.
Reclaiming My Identity, One Small Step at a Time
That was my wake-up call. It wasn’t about “finding time” for myself—it was about reclaiming my identity. I had to remind myself that I’m not just a mother; I’m a whole person, with dreams, passions, and needs of my own. If I wanted to show up as my best self for my kids, I had to start showing up for me too.
But the journey wasn’t easy. It’s not like I decided to prioritize myself, and everything magically fell into place. There are still days when I struggle to balance it all. It’s a constant dance between my roles, and I’ve learned it’s okay to stumble.
Finding Joy in the Little Things
Rediscovery doesn’t have to be a grand, life-altering event. It’s not about booking a week-long vacation or finding all the answers. It’s the little things—the moments where I choose to read a book I love, take a quiet walk, or even just enjoy an uninterrupted shower. These small pockets of time are what ground me.
I began carving out “me time” in ways that didn’t feel overwhelming or unrealistic. I’d wake up 20 minutes earlier for a quiet cup of coffee (okay, sometimes that didn’t always work, but hey, I tried), or I’d stay up a little later after the kids went to bed to journal or watch a movie that wasn’t on Disneyplus. These small acts were reminders that I deserved space in my life, too.
Letting Go of the Idea of Perfect Balance
Let’s be real: there’s no perfect balance between motherhood and self-care. Some days I feel like I’m crushing it, and other days I’m barely holding it together. But I’ve realized it’s okay to be a work in progress. I don’t need to have it all figured out to be a good mom—and neither do you.
If you’re feeling lost or disconnected from yourself, give yourself grace. Motherhood is demanding, and it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs when you’re constantly caring for everyone else. But here’s the thing—you matter too. Your dreams, desires, and well-being are important. By taking care of yourself, you’re setting a beautiful example for your children, teaching them to honor their own needs.
Finding My Way Back
So here I am, still on this journey of rediscovery. I’m learning to embrace the woman I’ve become while also reconnecting with the parts of me I’d set aside. It’s a process, but it’s one I’m committed to because I know I can be both a loving mom, present mom and a woman with dreams beyond motherhood.
To all the moms reading this: You are more than just your title. Motherhood is a part of you, but it doesn’t define you entirely. Don’t be afraid to carve out space for yourself, to pursue what lights you up, and to remember that your needs matter too. We’re all finding our way, one step at a time.
[…] My kids don’t need a flawless mom—they need me. My imperfect, human, quirky, and sometimes messy self. The one who loves them fiercely, even when I’m running on empty. The one who apologizes when I make mistakes and shows them that it’s okay to have hard days. I want to model resilience for them and teach them that they, too, can embrace life’s imperfections. […]